The debate of the morning is if i should put out the effort to take a shower. Yeah, of all the possible debates in life i am laying here contemplating if cleansing my body is worth it today. If someone could bath me - i would not decline. Actually, after they bath me i would need them to pick up some items from the store. This is why i really need a female here - how do i tell a man i need pads, and not just any pads the ones that are thinker than LightDays but thinner than diapers, and not the ones with wings but long enough to....well you know. So just a piece of advice - if you ever get your cervix frozen be prepared to feel 'wet' for over a week (doctor said one to four weeks - isn't that sexy). Several times yesterday i didn't know if i was just turned-on or if i peed my pants when i was coughing my lungs up. Of the few times i feel asleep last night i had a dream that i leaked straight through my pants - A FRECKIN' DREAM - ARE YOU SERIOUS? I can't escape it!
Okay so back to my list of things i need. Kleenex - well because i need to blow my nose - what did you expect? Moving on. I wouldn't mind a buffet of small food. I'm thinking carrots and celery with ranch, little squares of cheese, and those little tomatoes that if you don't have your lips closed when you bite into them they squirt out everywhere (doesn't that remind me of something)! Ginger-Ale is always good. Oh, Breakfast Pizza - it's a dish my moms makes which includes all your breakfast favorites layered - go figure! Did i mention i really need a shower?
I'm trying to make an appointment at my hair salon just so i have a reason to get out under this balnket and look half way decent. I could simply go out for coffee - i have a great person who I'm sure would meet up with me - but in all reality i need a female by my side more than anything. Females are the only creatures where you say the word 'cramp' and you don't have to say anymore. Females are the only creatures where describing the aftermath of your latest procedure doesn't gross them out (well at least the important females in my life). I really need my favorite females here to not pity me like a man would but give me that great all-time line 'Oh - i totally know what you mean!' If a man ever tried to finish that sentence i would shove his balls up his stomach and have him described his 'Cramps'! Sorry, I'm having a feminist day. To any of my guy friends - i still love you but because you don't have a vagina you are automatically at fault - sorry it's a proven fact. So im over the buffet thing, i realize anyone i know here does not have the time but only maybe the good intention. So now im drinking a Coffee Latte Ensure - by no means does this shake taste good but it's easy to prepare. Step 1: Shake well, serve very cold. Step 2: Refridgerate after opening.
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