Twenty-four days until my first Rheumatology appointment. This appointment was given to me two months in advance because there is only one Rheumatologist in Chico and appointments are scheduled in high/low priority order. Good news, I'm not high priority, however I still long for answers. I choose not to stress over what I don't know and replace that with patience (something I have never been good at).
I have been told not to 'google' my disease - one can become overwhelmed, stressed, and cause unnecessary emotional weight. As we all know our emotional, mental, and spiritual being plays a huge role in our physical bodies. You may not be able to control the prick of the needles but you can control your 'happy place', your attitude, and your sense of self. It may not ease the physical pain but I would rather suffer from something I have no control over than suffer from my own ignorance and worry that I have inflicted upon myself.
My first visit will more than likely be simple question and answer format, rather unexciting, but it will be one more step to understanding what is going on. I started keeping a pocket-size calendar with me to track my symptoms and flare-ups. May and June were hands-down the worst but there are days like today where all I want to do is lay on my bed and not move a muscle. My fingers are stiff and sore, I have to focus to breath normal at times, I use objects to stand up, random blurred vision, my shoes fit tighter because of swelling, my memory and focus is crap, and my ambition to complete task become weaker. In the past I could create detailed reports and study marketing plans enough to teach them, now my brain hurts to work on a 'Lower your Brain Age' work-book. For the most part, however these are tolerable, therefore I don't make a fuse unless it comes up in conversation with the people that know me.
My physical body has been through hell, however, I have been blessed by great doctors, caring nurses and great intuition when dealing with questionable treatment and diagnosis. I pray that the one and only Rheumatologist in Chico will be supplied with enough facts and blessed with great education and listening skills to work with me.
Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them. ~Martin H. Fischer
I have been told not to 'google' my disease - one can become overwhelmed, stressed, and cause unnecessary emotional weight. As we all know our emotional, mental, and spiritual being plays a huge role in our physical bodies. You may not be able to control the prick of the needles but you can control your 'happy place', your attitude, and your sense of self. It may not ease the physical pain but I would rather suffer from something I have no control over than suffer from my own ignorance and worry that I have inflicted upon myself.
My first visit will more than likely be simple question and answer format, rather unexciting, but it will be one more step to understanding what is going on. I started keeping a pocket-size calendar with me to track my symptoms and flare-ups. May and June were hands-down the worst but there are days like today where all I want to do is lay on my bed and not move a muscle. My fingers are stiff and sore, I have to focus to breath normal at times, I use objects to stand up, random blurred vision, my shoes fit tighter because of swelling, my memory and focus is crap, and my ambition to complete task become weaker. In the past I could create detailed reports and study marketing plans enough to teach them, now my brain hurts to work on a 'Lower your Brain Age' work-book. For the most part, however these are tolerable, therefore I don't make a fuse unless it comes up in conversation with the people that know me.
My physical body has been through hell, however, I have been blessed by great doctors, caring nurses and great intuition when dealing with questionable treatment and diagnosis. I pray that the one and only Rheumatologist in Chico will be supplied with enough facts and blessed with great education and listening skills to work with me.
Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them. ~Martin H. Fischer
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