exboyfriendjewelry.com

We all (the few people that read this blog) know that a twisted sense of humor is my defense mechanism. So when i got an email from my mom telling me to read this article on MSNBC.com i knew she had my humor also! Score! Go ahead and view the Video, also!

Been dumped? Dump his jewelry! - "A growing number of women are dealing with guys who break their hearts by turning to a new Web site, and a new twist on an old formula. Instead of getting mad, they're getting cash."

Disclaimer: This is not a website that i would see myself being apart of and i don't see myself selling or buying anything. But nevertheless, you have to applaud women who grab life by the balls!

Change is . . .

Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are, for what you could become.

So i thought i would jump on the bandwagon (meaning join with janae) of 'Change' and post a smart quote about the subject as i sit here in my living room wasting my night life. And i copy and paste the quote above - what other song comes on but Track 13 from Sheryl Crow 'A Change will do you Good'. How can you not laugh at that?! That Awesome! Anyways . . . there is no one in my living room to share that with so i thought i would post it on the world wide web to feel like I've done some human interaction this evening.

Wait! Im not done. The next song to shuffle is 'Always on your Side' the collaboration with herself and Sting! OMG what a night of perfect-timing music. If you haven't heard those lyrics i suggest you click here.

So i had a conversation with my mom today about this idea we call 'Change'! I told her i was getting antsy to move again and ready to 'GO' because that's what i do! Her fear is that i would focus so much on the antsiness and by looking too far forward i wouldn't complete my task at hand. Maybe i should recognize the antsiness as a signal to prepare for another move in the future - just NOT tomorrow. It's predicting my own future and knowing that change will come some but realizing i must complete Mountain A before climbing Mountain B. (Sorry that was a weird metaphor but i kinda liked it)

New Scenery

-I took this photo a few weeks ago and didn't realize it would be such a metaphor for my up-coming post :)

Apparently along this road of growing-up and adapting to life outside of school i neglected to realize that with the change of life's task's and priorities there would also be a change in life's barriers and hardships. I know, it's a simple concept! Turn down a different road and you see different scenery! And so, with these new barriers i find myself mystified that i don't know how to react. When i was in school i struggled with finding friends and relationships that understood my dedication and priorities which caused allot of lost relationships and self-assessments. I now have a career, something that i have been working on for years and yet the subject of career's has prevented a suitable relationship from blossoming and created chaos in simple love. Before this year of 'new scenery' i knew how to cope with homework, lack of money, midterms, friends without responsibility, how to maintain school/life balance, and working for the 'light at the end of the tunnel'. So, here i am, out of the tunnel and i don't know what 'light' they are talking about. Yes, i do feel like i have achieved a great self-accomplishment and am starting my future in the 'working' world. But with this 'new scenery' i am mystified on the tricks of the trade to balance career and life, love and scheduling, hobbies versus paid work, being realistic in a possible marriage versus what i was use to when i was still finding myself, and realizing my career does not control me - i control my career. This is a large milestone considering my university units controlled my life in all aspects - no matter what. I am finding that with this new self-evaluation i am eliminating features and relationships i thought i wanted in my life and trading them in for a fresh, new, mature, and more realistic ME. Therefore, looking for an alternative to what i thought i needed in life. YOU!

Kite Surfers

We saw these Kite-Surfers in Cayucos a few weeks ago. Really fun to watch but i was only able to get one photo with one surfer in the air.

Kiss Life

The more he smiled the more devoted i became.
The more he talked the more i listened.
He gave comfort and my guard went down.
The more he listened the more i trusted.
When i didn't see him i thought only about him.
The instant i kissed him the more he smiled.
Then life happened . . .
The more facts we presented the more we had to question.
The more honest he was the more i drank.
There was a time where we had no control.
The moment we knew we were on the same page - It was all gone.
He can smile but i can't be devoted.
We can talk but it doesn't change a thing.
He is still comfort to me but my guard must be up.
He is a wonderful listener but i have nothing else to say.
I will kiss him if i can but life happened.

Show's of the 90's

I know i gave an entire television bashing in a recent post but today i was remembered of a few shows of the 90's that never wasting 30 minutes on the boob-tube. Maybe it was because they contained less commercials or the writers kept simple humor part of their script, either way, the television shows on the 90's blew today's 'entertainment' out of the water. This morning an episode of Mad About You was on daytime - remember Murray! Anyways, then i started thinking of other shows of the 90's and came up with this list: Wings - where Tony Shalhoub started his career, JAG - didn't every guy have a crush on Mac, Saved by the Bell - when Zack was the hottest guy we knew, Judging Amy - total chick flick but really honest, NYPD Blue and Third Watch - good stuff, Early Edition - I hardly know anyone who remembers this show but it's where i first saw Kyle Chandler on screen, Hey Dude - straight-up Nickelodeon, Step by Step - which i think was a well-rounded cast, and the Cosby Show - who didn't like the Cosby's?

I'm sure there are much more - please share any!

Missing my Weekends

There is not enough time in a day - nor in a week! To make a decent paycheck, enjoy a good home-cooked meal, to fall asleep and stay asleep in a timely manner, maintain a clean and organized house - a house you want to come 'Home' to, have a nice conversation on the porch with the one you love, to sleep in one day because you can, work on the little things that make you feel you got something accomplished that no one could understand but yourself, and take a run along the park trail. These are not task of unrealistic expectations just a simple week but yet so hard to embrace. I would give anything to soak up the sun this Saturday with a cowboy but instead i find myself ironing my pants for work. I can't wait to enjoy my weekends again!

Blogging and Softball

Two Things for Today . . .

One-
Some of you may have realized my Blog had a attitude problem yesterday and would not display any of my post (unless you clicked on the title to the right), deleted my 'Shared Enjoyment' links, and refigured my entire user-friendly concept of blogger.com. After many curse words and help-support emails i through in the towel and just went with the plan black background and started all over. I read something about 'widget's' and how they may have been corrupted. Really? This is de'ja'vue! He knows who he is - we had this conversation before. Definition of a 'widget' - ummm - does that make any since to you? As for me i don't care what a widget is, i don't want to upgrade my profile, i don't want to input my links again, i don't want to edit my HTML page - i want my profile to be user-friendly and add anything i want to it without deleting someone else! To maintain a blog is more demanding than owning a cat - seriously - think about it!

Two-
Last night i went to softball practice with a few friends. I wasn't as bad as i thought i was going to be - it's been awhile since i gave any real effort to a sport. By the end of the hour i had taken a ball to the thigh and hit a few that i would be proud of. So - i wake up this morning with the beginning stages of a burs on my right thigh, my thighs and back are sore, and my right arm is now bigger than my left :) It Hurt so Good!

Mollie and Vada

More photos to come but this is Mollie (left) and both Mollie and Vada (below) in the back of my parents house this past weekend.

A Good Friend and a Glass of Wine

I was going to post the video but the lyrics will be enough - it's a simple concept:

Who died and crowned me everybody's everything

I'm even busting my butt through the weekend

By the time I get home there's not an ounce of sanity

Between the dogs, my momma's calls

Is it against the law

For me to get what I need

A good friend and a glass of wine

Someone to say it's gonna be alright

A good friend and a glass of wine

A little pick me up to get me through the night

We talk trash n' we laugh and cry

That kind of therapy money can't buy

Every now and then, every now and then

Every girl needs a good friend and a glass of wine

I don't need to jet off to no vacation for a week

I'd be happy to have a happy hour

When I'm tired and I'm fried it gets me right back on my feet

Any kind of red or white, a little sister time

It's every smart girls secret

A good friend and a glass of wine

Someone to say it's gonna be alright

A good friend and a glass of wine

A little pick me up to get me through the night

We talk trash n' we laugh and cry

That kind of therapy money can't buy

Every now and then, every now and then

Every girl needs a good friend and a glass of wine

A Good Friend and a Glass of Wine

LeAnn Rimes

Put down the remote and no one will get hurt . . .

Can i just say television is only a piece of plastic and glass that occupies space in homes which eventually sucks the energy out of families and people. Why do we invest so much time into this item when there is no tangible ROI – certainly the only helpful result from this wasteful task is giving yourself more time to push aside your actual responsibilities. Why do we feel like we have to have the cable plugged into the wall as if it is our life-line to the world - because we all know that the television does not represent the 'real' world - you do know that right?! It's full of fake information, useless worry, monitored news, and wasteful ever-changing repetitive stories. The majority of the hour long drama filled daytime shows have all become soap-operas or gossip meetings in one way or another. I will admit that i enjoy three shows and i will watch at least one once a week (by the way i don't have cable). However, as of this morning i realized that i turn on my television for the sheer entertainment of background noise as i do my routine daily living. Each time i do that i pay a few more dollars to the power company to participate in car salesman jiggles, fast-food commercials, women with a point of 'View', and psychotherapist’s who have answers to everything expect this disease we call television. I can think of a hand full of excellent song writers that could blow any day-time script out of the water. I can think of plenty of books that would enjoy my company on my porch. If the screen must be of pleasure i can think of plenty of blockbusters that have real creative and artistic value. And God forbid there is always the creation of blogs - a little inspirational outlet to release inner expressions on the WWW is not so bad (according to DateLine NBC)!

Quotes from the Weekend

To sum up my three-day vacation I decided to surf the Quote Garden for possible deceased authors to shine light, in the form of words, on my orchestra of ideas. I came across two quotes that give justice to two different aspects of this snap-shot in my life.

In the last three days I shared a bottle of Riesling with my life twin, shared the scenery of the coast-line with my family, enjoyed letting my dog run loose in an open field (photos), and was able to have face-to-face conversations with the ones that 'get me' the most. Which is why the following quote is perfect:

You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job. ~Laurence J. Peter

It wasn't until my drive back into Chico that I realized the next quote rang more true than it did the first time I read it years ago:

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss

Finding someone who will rest and allow you to just 'be' is priceless and hard to find. I asked 'What is my role?" and he said "to be yourself" - I could have cried in relief right then and there. I believe there is a middle ground to being in someone’s life and not being their 'entire' world but also not being just a 'part' of their world. I really hope that makes sense to whoever might read this because at this point it is the only way i know how to say it.

Code of Law

When i found the following i couldn't click on 'New Post' fast enough to share my enjoyment. After posting Didn't Mr. Delano call this a virtue?, Janae posted a comment that took me back 10 years and i also realized half of America has no idea what or who i was referring to, so i decided to do a little investigation and I found these websites!

The Delano Code of Law and The Life of Virtue

For those of you who don't know who Mr. Delano is - At Coalinga High he was our Ethics/American Government teacher who took on the role as mentor and overprotective father figure. Either you loved him or you hated him but either way you respected the man. He challenged the ones that would challenge back and pushed him thumb down on the losers. Every day (no exceptions, even in his absence) we would have to recite loudly The Delano Code of Law. Sidenote: I think some lines have changed since we were in school (any opinions). In one class we would write bi-monthly essay responses to an article written by Aristotle or some controversial issue regarding ethics and mankind. Eighty percent of the school hated writing them but i am not ashamed to say i enjoyed being analytical and controversial in my writings and in his class - i wish more people were. I understand some people never agreed with his intentions and didn't like his classes but even if you didn't you have to admit he is the only person in that school that provoked you to think...on your own!

Update: Mr Delano has published a book called The Delano Code: The Only way Out.

Didn't Mr.Delano say this was a virtue?

Patience: A minor form of despair disguised

as a virtue. ~Ambrose Bierce

Photo: Taken on Lake Almanor towards Lassen last Sunday with Chris

It's Friday - i guess that's always welcomed. I'm using my time up with Blueberry coffee and writing this so i don't have to get ready for work. I have been reasonably mellow this last week due to my candid attempt to understand 'patience'. I remember the kind of patience we had as a child - the one where we wanted to grow-up and fly away just to buy another ticket back home, or during college it was a never-ending cycle of hurry-up and wait! This patience is different. I did grow-up (I'm still not happy about that), Ive arrived (where? i don't know), and I'm going somewhere (again, i don't know), with someone. This week has been lingering with - Where am i going to live? Where am i going to work? Where is he going to live? When am i going to see him? When is my interview? How much is the pay? Do i really want to move? (I am so tired of moving) How far do i want to go? Do i want to change doctors? This orchatra of life's little questions making sweet music.

Despite all the questions i am still calm - surprising for those who know me the most. There is nothing i can do to speed it up and i am okay with that. Having him reassure me is my wishing-well of patience in it's self.

Deana Carter wasn't kidding . . .

Did I Shave my Legs for This?