The news of someone smiling at your smile:the news of someone laying under the glide of your hand is breathtaking.
The news coming from anything other than your lips is inadequate.
Seeing you happy brings me ironic peace and a disposition of letting you go all over again.
My share of love did not mirror yours and I could not give you the love language to calm your nights.
My shellfish sanity caused my departure and my indecisiveness caused this friendship to weaken.
Maybe I am asking for affirmation that not all is gone with the love.
You were the first to fall in love with this new person in me; therefore, I shared new enlightenment's with you.
I keep myself in question to why I couldn't give you what you needed and I ask where I was when I wasn't with you.
Why am I so hurt at my own exodus when I know we only held the stars for a moment in life?
I repeat the circles above my head to why we faded but I don't believe in mistakes.
Even so this connection is too strong to let you go without a sting.
Our love child was named.
Our Sunday's were brilliant.
Our vacations were mapped.
I saved every photo in my mind.
You showed me how to love with soul, be friends by heart, and speak with mind.
Besides confusion - what I gave you is still a question to me.
When do I let go of something I already let loose of?
Photo taken October 2007 - Mendocino
4 comments:
I love the fact that were we not friends who talk on the phone seven times a day, I could read your writing and still see a glimpse of the depth of your soul. It's this deafening silence only balanced by the loudest scream when one can read words written by another and know that although the heart is unique and the soul its own entity, there are definite moments in life...moments of joy, sorrow, fear, ecstasy, and the like, that no matter the differing circumstances, we all must feel. And reading the clarity of those emotions brings a certain undeniable validation that life is not as lonely as we would like to believe...
Allow me to be chessy and sappy for a moment -
I think the fact that you and i have created and blog which has become our best way to communicate since your physically distance we have encountered the most amazing, understandable, creative level of friendship. The friendship of exchanging 'real' words.
Amen
...now we need only to add the vino!
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