Trouble by Ray Lamontagne

Trouble...
Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble
Trouble been doggin' my soul since the day I was born
Worry...
Worry, worry, worry, worry
Worry just will not seem to leave my mind alone
We'll I've been...
saved by a woman
I've been...
saved by a woman
I've been...
saved by a woman
She won't let me go
She won't let me go now
She won't let me go
She won't let me go now

Trouble...
Oh, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble
Feels like every time I get back on my feet
she come around and knock me down again
Worry...
Oh, worry, worry, worry, worry
Sometimes I swear it feels like this worry is my only friend
We'll I've been saved...
by a woman
I've been saved...
by a woman
I've been saved...
by a woman
She won't let me go
She won't let me go now
She won't let me go
She won't let me go now

Oh..., Ahhhh....
Ohhhh
She good to me now
She gave me love and affection
She good tell me now
She gave me love and affection
I Said I love her
Yes I love her
I said I love her
I said I love...
She good to me now
She's good to me
She's good to me

Dear So-Called Doctor

Dear dense oblivious ignorant stagnant doctor,

You are the reason people don't like doctor's.

From,
One who will push to eliminate your kind.

House-ism in Photos

Letter

Dear Inner Self,

There is a difference between thinking positive and doing positive!

From,
Me

Recovering Pessimist

This universe gives so many blessings - you just have to open your mind and ask for them! I'm on my knees in thankfulness this morning for the love in this world! For years i had no idea what i was missing! I can now feel my heart working in the ways it was meant to!

I wrote this on my FaceBook several days ago when I started getting a grip on where my life's events were taking me. As much as I pride myself on the ability to write what I’m thinking and feeling I just couldn't get my keyboard to communicate with my soul in the last several weeks. Despite my talkative and loud self I have been spiritually silent for some time. I kept this spiritually journey to myself knowing 1. it needed to be that way for me to focus on it and 2. i didn't know what this silence really meant let alone me trying to define it to someone else.
For a few months now I have stopped kicking a screaming at life’s happenings. I have stopped questioning the universe before it’s even done with the sentence. I have slowed down the process that results in being quick to anger. I have turned up my gut reactions knowing my gut sometimes knows more than I do. When I am alone I take it in and stay silent. I use my logic and fight mode argument skills in moderation these days and depend primarily on heart and well-being. Don't get me wrong I am an infant in this journey to my core but I'm on my way.
I am slightly hesitate to write about this amazing transformation in fear that I might hinder it but I am positive that I am in the right position and around the right people to help me with that.
If anyone knows me I battle with 'labels' - labeling myself and others around me. However, I recently labeled myself something I don't regret. I am a recovering pessimist!

What Does Knowing Help?

This topic consumed my daily thoughts and even sometimes my nightly dreams. I have lived two separate lives and within the last 6 months they have slowly collided into each other. It was inevitable and gut-wrenching to watch the slowest car crash happen in my own life as i watch not doing a thing. I would lay in bed wondering why i have chosen to keep the best thing that has happened to me a secret then i would ponder if i ever really had a choice. I would cry over the thought of lying to the people who raised me then i cry over the realization that i am invertedly hurting the person i was meant to never hurt.
My mom emailed me tonight confirming that she knew about our relationship and despite her disagreement she will always love me. I'm upset with myself that i wasn't strong enough to talk first but really i just wasn't strong enough - plan and simple. I'm highly torn over how i feel. I think i should feel relieved because that's what people told me i would feel once i came out but I'm sorry to say I'm not relieved. I'm scared! I'm scared that things will change - that my relationship will change. I will be the first to admit my logic is flawed but change has hardly been a positive thing for my relationships in the past.
Just because my mom knows doesn't mean that i will talk about it with her. I doubt she wants to know anything more than she has to. It doesn't mean i am going to increase my PDA - that's just not something i do. So what is her knowing going to change? I'm still going to filter what i tell her for her own protection. I still can't share with my family our amazing connection, communication, friendship, and respect we have for one another - they won't understand. Therefore, i will still be living two separate lives. That doesn't make me feel better, it makes me feel sad, stressed, and angry.