My Health Mission - Rest of the Week

So i finished up the rest of the week on Brand Buds and to be honest i missed a few days. :( But im not beating myself up im only taking it every other day. These are the rest of the things i am doing;

Pycnogenol – I take this for many reasons but I think everyone should take it!
Costco around $16
http://www.pycnogenol.com/flash/

Juice Plus – It cured my mom’s IBS and I just feel all around better.
My best friend sells it – this is her website!
Juice Plus

Kellogg BranBuds or Oatmeal EVERY morning!
Kellogg Brand Buds
If you choose BranBuds they are actually pretty good (they don’t taste like cardboard). The hardest part is the first week bc they will clean out your system - but it works. ONLY 1/3 cup each morning. I add a little sugar and soy milk.

For the most part I figured out I am lactose intolerance which I could have been for years but just thought ‘my inners feels like this ALL the time, it couldn’t be dairy’. But I cut out 90% of diary and started oatmeal EVERY morning and not only lost a pant size but I also didn’t run to the pot as much. Who knew?

My Healthy Crap Mission - Day One and Two

In a nutshell my bowels are crap!
(hehe get it)

About every two years my mid-section decides to have a life of it's own and puts me through hell. And every two years each doctor goes through the same test and conversations with me regarding a possible 'illness'. Blood work to rule of something I can't pronounce, anti-acids are like candy 'no Rx' for me, drinking chalk and getting x-rays, colonoscopies, and many hypothetical conversations always lead to well . . . nothing! Four years ago they found endometriosis which we believe was effecting my bowels and digestive track - don't ask me how but when thy removed it my symptoms were gone and I lost 15 pounds.

Now fast forward to about 3 months ago. (Warning: Blunt Dirty Language) One night after a good size meal and some bloating I starting pooping and farting blood. Yeah I said it! Seriously i thought my monthly gift form mother nature got confused and switched holes. So the next few days i pooped in test-tubs and lived in the bathroom. The question of the day in our house was "Hi honey I’m home - how's your poop today?" So romantic! The doctors ruled out parasites but couldn't do much else without consulting with a GI specialist, which of course couldn't be for another 3 weeks. Luckily I stopped bleeding but still THATS NOT NORMAL. Quickly after meeting Dr. Muscle Seventy-Something With A Slur Specialist i get the much anticipated colonoscopy (which I must stop the story to Thank the most amazing male nurse I’ve ever had, I have forgot his name but he was really appreciated). A week later the results come back and are completely normal so we tried some small bowel x-rays after drinking a contrast mixture chalk! What do you know? I'm fine! IM NOT FINE! Blood in the Butt is not NORMAL!
As all of this is going on I decide to make a change in my diet because I know at this point it’s nothing life-threatening and more than likely it’s something I have control over. I didn’t take a big change but I took baby steps. A week before my colonoscopy I cut out 90% of my dairy intake and had oatmeal every morning. My GI doctor wanted me to cut out all dairy but that's just ridiculous! I lost 6 pounds and 2 pant sizes! Really! I watch my portion control and ate small things throughout the day and i always have something for breakfast, which is something I never did before. This last Monday was my last visit to Dr. GI and basically he thinks I’m lactose intolerant. I think it's a little extreme but i will maintain to keep my intake down to a minimum. He also thinks the bleeding was caused by my inners working too hard because my body was aggravated from the dairy, basically i ripped a new one! Of course those are not his words - Dr. GI uses words like anus (which he must have said at least 28 times during the appointment). I can't take anyone seriously when they use the word 'anus'. Who says that? What happened to words like 'poop' and 'butt'?

Anyways! As i continue the non-dairy and oatmeal routine i am also taking the Dr. orders and starting Kellogg's All-Brand Buds. He wanted me to start them a month ago but i couldn't get myself to eat cardboard just yet. If it wasn't for his lovely nurse that told Kara and I all the success stories she had in counted with patients and her own husband i wouldn’t have gave it a second thought (not to mention Kara was going to do it with me). Today was my second day of having 1/3 cup of Brand Buds in the morning and i can honestly say they don't taste like cardboard - with some vanilla soy they are just right for a morning ‘pick me up’. My only side effect is some 'eh bloated' feelings around noon while the fiber does it's job. I'll be taking Brand Buds for ten days and I think i will finish this challenge with success - i have nothing to loose!

I Suck at Relationships

I suck at relationships.
Not just romantic relationships but any human contact on an emotional level.
Honestly, I’m surprised I’ve had the same best friend for 6 years - at least I got one thing right! I don't know when it started, how I got this way, or whom to blame it on (other than myself).
We can go back to high school where I was an awkward misunderstood misfit who bounced to and from social groups, or the string of non-existent conversations with my parents, a distant father, sheltered social guidance, or an uneasy self-awareness. Maybe it stemmed form the emotionally abusive boyfriend or the spiral effect I placed my life in for several years. Regardless, I’ve paid for my actions by the means of lost friends, repeated therapy, self doubt, horrible communication methods, haunting dreams, etc . . . . , did I mention the therapy?
I went through a phase of childish behavior, lying to cover up other lies, reckless drama, and shellfish relationships, changing with the wind, cheating, and more pointless lying which all resulted in a crash of what I envisioned my life to be. The cheating was the beginning of the end for me. I literally had to teach myself how to not lie (even about the smallest of details). I had to learn how to act my age and minimize the drama around me. To sum up that time in my life I was a true bitch in the worst ways. As I tried for several years to maintain healthy balanced loving relationships the fact was I didn't know what that really meant or how to start that process. It was not until one day when my 'person of the month' said to me "I not only want to love someone but I need someone to love me in return." Oh Snap! Caught red-handed in the most shellfish of ways! I suck at relationships.
The revolving door of friends has been a great journey (enter sarcasm). Some I can chalk up to simple HS drama but I can honestly say I actively flushed many relationships down the drain with one finger. Lying, gossiping, lack of patience and a caring heart, a short fuse of annoyance, and resentment all had a hand. Of course, I could never communicate my frustrations or worries I just pushed the relationship away with any vice I pulled from my hat.
I'm happy to say I reconnected with a few friends who gave me a second chance. Their openness still amazes me and now I strive to live with that type of forgiveness they possess.
Despite my best efforts to turn a new leaf I still battle with conflict resolution being the bigger person. You will not find me lying or cheating but I still cling to my selfishness - I use to as my defense mechanism.
For all of you in my future path I apologize in advance for my socially awkward deliveries and hope you can read my heart instead of my ability to suck at relationships.