My Guilty Pleasure

Next to the L Word this is my Guilty Pleasure! Legend of the Seeker

Life, Love, and Happiness

What was it that i used to write about? What did i think was so complex about life? Was it I that made it so complex? Life is simple. Love is truth. Happiness is choice. These people that surround me are so wrapped up in what they make difficult. Woman of little words - ill just sit here and soak up your love. Humans make life hard. Breath deeply and you can make your universe slow down. Live truth. Talk simple. Choose to make happiness.

I Don't Care Anymore

I get SO agitated when i know someone that is royally screwing up their life. It almost bothers me that their disfunctional life bothers me so much. I don't want to be heartless and unemphatic but at the same time i contemplate their chaotic life so much so that i start getting stressed and frustrated that they won't learn. This is the part of my life where i still judge and have an opinion about everyone's elses situation. I have an acquaintance that is a train-wreck (there is no other word for her) and of all the soap's I've seen in my day i have never heard of a story like hers. She brings everything drama on herself and with no regret or responsibility to her actions. She has no logic to life, no foundation, is fueled with drama and the worst part is - she thinks she is happy. Yeah, i know! Who am i to say 'she THINKS she is happy'. Well effin', this is my blog and this is MY opinion. But geez, I'm so sick and tired watching her and a select other people in my life choose to be miserable and disfunctional and little-ol' me trying to live life with virtue, true friendships, honesty, peace, did i say virtue? I can't get away with crap. I lie and my world falls apart (not that i want to lie), i can't sleep well with drama in my life, with no foundation or responsibility i fall apart. How do these people do it? Honestly!
I wish i could just shut off my feelings about these people and just say ' oh well it's your life' but i can't! I whole-heartily want these people to be effin normal. YES, i want my crazy train-wreck friends to be more like me. It's okay i know I'm selfish. I don't think i will ever become heartless, or ever stop being so passionate about this so my theory is i just need to not even ask 'how is so-and-so doin', if i don't know then i can have nothing to be upset about and they can just live their painstaking roller-coaster never having true friends kind of life. I Dont' Care (even though i really do).

Main Street Music

Downtown Portland Oregon 2009

Your music makes up my dance and I stand still when you look through me.
I travel in circles of a repetitive beat but this is no music.

This limbo I am in is by no means a melody.
I linger of guilty curiosity and yearn for something I do not know.
I will be lost in solitude when I wake up without you breathing next to me.
This universe inside me could be my own prison,

my faith keeps it not so.
I can't touch you and I can't make you trust me but I can dance here until you see me.
You keep my heart even when I lose direction.
You keep me dancing when I can't hear the music.
You keep me singing when I forget the words.
You keep me near when I the dance floor gets crowded.
This city will run it's course. I will be standing in the middle of Main street with my bad dreams.
I will cry, kiss, scream, and stand still in my chaos. I will stay til you tell me to move.
So it is – nothing I can write or sing is as sweet as your love.
I don't understand the pieces of this song, I don't understand the word 'unconditional', I don't know how to change when changes occur.
I have no right to ask of anything but if I may, can I carry your tune?
May I stay in your arms in the middle of the street and cry your name til you see only me?
May I dance in your soul til I die?
May I ask of you to stay - take me to your sanctuary and kneel at the mercy of becoming one?

Unofficial Holiday

I think the Super Bowl should be a National Day! How do we get this to happen!?

By the Way . . . . GO COLTS!!!!

Going Out

Life Lesson #47
Dance Outside Even When No One Else Is

I'll Tell You When I Get There

During my college career i was asked several times a month 'Where i wanted to go in life?' and never gave a absolute answer because i felt as if i would be putting boundaries on my future. I know it's a general question of college students but i was annoyed at the feeling of being obligated to plan my life. I usually answered with 'I don't know - I'll tell you when i get there'. After i graduated i bought my own car, started big-girl work, and grew up a little. Now i think i have an answer. I want a house and a dog in my back yard! That's where i want to go in life! I want to 'go' home every day to my wife and my dog!