Dirt Before You Make Your Decision - JobVent.Com

I wanted to share a good website I found for those of you who are in negotiations for a job or career. I know it's hard enough getting a interview these days let alone a job, but if you find your self wanting to know some honest dirt or genuine praise about your possible employer/company take a search in Jobvent.com. It's the behind the curtain information that the interviewer won't tell you!

I Love Music . . . and Birds

This morning as I visited my favorite blog, A Series of Lefts, I couldn't seem to put together any words to make a sentence. This happens to me a lot on this site - I try to give my all and give attention to the beautiful written words but I am torn away by the music. You see, my best friend has the best pallet of music. I sometimes type in her URL just to have her play list in the background of my environment.
For years, we have enjoyed the same type of genre and artists but I always seem to steer away from it for a couple of reasons; I never seem to have CD's or XM in my car so I'm forced to listen to the radio, and the people I live with are all about the fast dance stuff, and really when living with others I can't turn on my music and melt in the sounds as much as I use to. But this morning I did! I turned on her blog and melted in my love-seat and my heart raced and slowed to the tempo of McCain, Wells, Rice, Myer, and Johnson. This is the second best thing to sitting on a beach with only the waves, birds, and wind.
Then I created my own play list and added a few of my favorites Etheridge, La Montagne, Eels, and Broadfield. I added new stuff from the Soundtrack of House and sprinkled in some old favorites from Sting, Cash, and Counting Crows. Hope my play list can bring someone some much needed clarity and humbleness as A Series of Left did for me.

P.S. Some of you might know I like birds. I Love birds! So when I found this song by the Eels I was overjoyed. It's called 'I Like Birds'! Check it out at the bottom on the page!

Human Rights Campaign

Conversation on a Bench

Me: Hello! Looking for guidance here - can you help me with the crossroad ahead of me?

God: Yes! I can help. But first you must forget what you think you know about where your life is going.

Me: Um! okay! That's not what I asked.

God: Then why did you ask me in the first place?

Me: Touche`

God: Good! Now follow your instinct and trust that you have been taught how to be logical, self aware, and remember your boundaries.

Me: Right, but that's what i need help in - i need the answer so I can start doing those things.

God: I don't give answers i give blessings in disguise.

Me: Can you disguise a blessing in money?

God: (silence)

Me: Okay, Okay that wasn't funny - sorry! But seriously I'm torn on what I should do.

God: What you should do is trust me then you will trust yourself - via your answer.

Me: (silence)

God: I gave you gifts. These gifts are not to be put on a shelf like awards but used to answer your own questions and your earthly dilemmas. These gifts are also tools to communicate with your own being, your core. I will be your shelter for clarity but you must not act as if you are weak - i gave you strength in spirit - use it!

Cherry Blossom Tattoo

So some of you know i have a tattoo on my back of a simple bird and star design. It was my 21st Birthday gift to myself and now, years later, i need/want to add more to it, make it more creative, and more symbolic.

I found this blog recently to which the writer has exactly what i want! Tell me what you think?!

Cherry Blossom Tattoo

(click here)

Love Better

When you can't see past the decisions and options.
Love better.
When you hurt from the words of ignorance.
Love better.
When you fail to trust, succumb to doubt, speak-out in fear.
Love better.
Forget the oppressor, the facts and reasoning.
Love better.
Release your control over punishment and debt.
Love better.
Be silent while soul-searching. Listen better.
Take growing as a gift. Understand better.
Give back, give often and unconditionally.
Love better.
Unselfishly check your selfishness. Love better.
Patiently wait for the unknown. Love better.
Observe and stay open to what you don’t understand.
Love better.
Your thoughts are loud. Love better.
Stay grounded on hope and your wings elevated with faith.
Love better.

New Journal

"Every Friday night they go out on the town. They wear strapless dresses to show off their tattoos, they fling their everyday cares out the window. They split a beer at the icehouse. Their grandchildren wonder what the neighbors think." . . . . "It is here where she must begin to tell her story".

This is a space for dream words. Love words. Made up words. Flying words, fall down and get up words. Get to know the sound of your own inner voice. Be creative. Be generous. Be Bold.

Thank you, Nae!

This is the first entry in my new journal!

Cheesy and all!

A healthy Space.

Where the land of the busy panic living

meet the calm weightless waters.

Where waiters make your seaside dinner an experience.

Where sailing has a way of eliminating all matters of the world.

Wine, cigars, and two new friends.

Life is what happens when we stop thinking about it.

A vacation of laughter is the healthy space.

24 Days - Learning Patience

Twenty-four days until my first Rheumatology appointment. This appointment was given to me two months in advance because there is only one Rheumatologist in Chico and appointments are scheduled in high/low priority order. Good news, I'm not high priority, however I still long for answers. I choose not to stress over what I don't know and replace that with patience (something I have never been good at).

I have been told not to 'google' my disease - one can become overwhelmed, stressed, and cause unnecessary emotional weight. As we all know our emotional, mental, and spiritual being plays a huge role in our physical bodies. You may not be able to control the prick of the needles but you can control your 'happy place', your attitude, and your sense of self. It may not ease the physical pain but I would rather suffer from something I have no control over than suffer from my own ignorance and worry that I have inflicted upon myself.

My first visit will more than likely be simple question and answer format, rather unexciting, but it will be one more step to understanding what is going on. I started keeping a pocket-size calendar with me to track my symptoms and flare-ups. May and June were hands-down the worst but there are days like today where all I want to do is lay on my bed and not move a muscle. My fingers are stiff and sore, I have to focus to breath normal at times, I use objects to stand up, random blurred vision, my shoes fit tighter because of swelling, my memory and focus is crap, and my ambition to complete task become weaker. In the past I could create detailed reports and study marketing plans enough to teach them, now my brain hurts to work on a 'Lower your Brain Age' work-book. For the most part, however these are tolerable, therefore I don't make a fuse unless it comes up in conversation with the people that know me.

My physical body has been through hell, however, I have been blessed by great doctors, caring nurses and great intuition when dealing with questionable treatment and diagnosis. I pray that the one and only Rheumatologist in Chico will be supplied with enough facts and blessed with great education and listening skills to work with me.

Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them. ~Martin H. Fischer

Homemade Apple Vinaigrette Salad Dressing

Because my best cook is unavailable while she recovers this week I wanted to help her ‘Recipe for the Week’. A fan of vinaigrette herself, here is something I hope is enjoyable!


1/4 cup fresh lime juice
2 Tb honey
1 Tb red-wine vinegar
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1/4 cup olive oil
fresh ground black pepper
1 small roma tomato
half Fuji Apple


Whisk together juice (I used lemon juice, doesn't matter), honey, and vinegar.
Whisk in oil in small stream until emulsified.
Food processed tomato, garlic, and apple (remove skin) and add to mixture (chopped until desired).
Whisk in pepper as much as desired.

I sliced the rest of the apple and added them to my salad.

This will probably last for 2-3 personal salad and I am convinced if you want to add/delete or adjust some measurements you can't go wrong. If you add more tomato (like I did) just add more oil, juice, and vinegar also. Add more honey if you want it thinker.

P.S. I only had a Pomegranate Red Wine Vinegar so i used it - I'm sure it's good either way! Use what you have - no need to get specific!

Next to Today

In my next life my best friend and i will live in the same city . . . at the same time.
In my next life i will not cheat.
In my next life i will not take the easy way out.
In my next life i will follow my gut more.
In my next life i will still be the same but stronger.
In my next life i will not procrastinate life.
In my next life i will not judge things i don't understand.
In my next life i will judge my actions more.
In my next life my brain will be sharper and i will focus.
In my next life i will not be scared of making a fool of myself, again.
In my next life i will pay attention to the danger tape.
In my next life i will keep dancing.
I will read more, i will not push people away, i will not lie to fix something, i will not fake what i think is important, i will keep all my writings for such a day like this, i will get up when knocked down, again. I will not waste other's time to benefit my passion. I will love without barriers. I will not work for something that is destructive, I will love, again.
I will miss, scream, fall, cry, kick, laugh, fall again, i will be human and i will learn.
I will want to trust and i will forget how.
In my next life i will live and love. I will regret because I'm weak and i will remember because I'm strong.
In my next life i will write a list about my next life and i will add some and delete some and modify some.
In my next life i will be me.

Release Me

I left you behind for a reason.
A reason that made you better,
a reason that I never understood.

Your voice like anguishing familiarity,
Your disappearance is appalled.
You won the battle,
the battle of hearts versus spades.

I bleed the possibilities of the unknown,
caught awake staring at your ghost.

Leave me alone.

Turn away and leave my dreams for only my passions.
I left you for a reason - you have no place here.

You’re the lone midnight train
I held onto you under the tunnel
Soothing and strong
I can't escape your train,
You can't afford my ride.

I can't afford your memory.

Release me

Out of my dreams.

Release me

Scare me away.

Release me

Send me truth.

Release me

Don't Use YAZ - Recall and Lawsuits

Finally, there are legal television commercials against the birth control pill YAZ and Yasmine! I have several friends including myself who have had serious side-effects with this pill and i encourage anyone who is still taking this pill to really search for an alternative solution.
These pills are not worth it!
Please educate yourself and ask your doctor for options . . . YOU HAVE OPTIONS!


Throughout the United States, a number of Yaz birth control lawsuits have been filed against Bayer Healthcare Pharmaceuticals, Inc., which was formerly known as Berlex, Inc. and Berlex Laboratories, Inc., alleging that the drug makers:

Failed to adequately warn consumers and the medical community about the potential risk of Yaz side effects.

Failed to adequately test and research Yaz birth control before placing it on the market, which could have shown that users will face an increased risk of heart attacks, strokes, pulmonary embolism, deep vein thrombosis, gallbladder complications and other life-threatening health problems.

Failed to issue a Yaz recall or remove the birth control pill from the market after it became apparent that it is an unreasonably dangerous drug, for which the harmful side effects outweigh any potential benefits provided over other available birth control pills.
Aggressively marketed Yaz and encouraged misuse and overuse despite the known Yaz dangers to maximize profits at the expense of users’ health.

The drug makers had sole access to facts concerning the potential Yaz problems, and ignored the correlation between their drug and potentially life-threatening side effects. Yaz safety concerns were concealed and misrepresentations were made to to convince potential users and the medical community to use the birth control pill instead of other available products. This increased the drug makers’ profits at the expense of women throughout the United States.

More Information Here

Too Darn Hott

I awoke this morning to what i thought was 9am in all anticipation to attend Chico's Saturday Morning Farmer's Market but slept til 10:30am! Laid there a little longer realizing that dark curtains are always a good idea in the bedroom unless you want to wake up early, like today. So we laid there visiting each other and ignoring the time. By noon we felt like it was 10am so i thought i would make breakfast. Scrambled eggs for the little one, bagel egg sandwich for kara, and a ham avocado omelet with bagel for myself. . . . and food coma! another nap! My other thought today was to float down the Sacramento River with our friends, they couldn't make it but i was insisting on going anyway but hour after hour no one could awake from carb-haven. It is now 5pm and i have done nothing but make our kitchen more messy (our dishwasher is broke) and attempt to take a complete shower without laying back in bed. Don't get me wrong a day in bed in amazing exspecially when you have someone special to share it with! it really is just too darn hott to do anything else! maybe some ice cream later!